The Startup Graveyard
Twelve startups that died with the wrong name.
We fed each one to Vocari's naming engine. Here's the brandable replacement it would suggest — and, because that's the whole point, every one of these domains is actually still available.
Quibi
† flamed out 2020, six months inshort-form mobile video streaming appjudge:A “quick bites” portmanteau that keeps the awkwardness of both words and the meaning of neither — it reads like a typo, rhymes with nothing, and dies in the mouth like the yawn it sounds like.
Vocari would call itvireo.tv● availablename it yourself →Theranos
† dissolved 2018finger-prick consumer blood-testing startupjudge:A weld of “therapy” and “diagnosis” so clinical it lands like a Greek Titan — four syllables nobody spells right the first try, and a name that now collides head-on with a Marvel villain.
Vocari would call itveyra.so● availablename it yourself →MoviePass
† shut down 2019, bankrupt 2020unlimited movie-theater subscriptionjudge:Two dictionary words bolted into a category label instead of a brand — so literal it doubles as its own tagline, and “pass” turned out to be exactly what the market did.
Vocari would call itcinea.club● availablename it yourself →Juicero
† shut down 2017$700 Wi-Fi cold-press juicerjudge:Bolts a telenovela “-ero” onto the word “juice” to sell artisanal machismo — it sounds like a luchador or a taco truck, not a $700 countertop appliance, and the spare syllable adds cost without ever adding flavor.
Vocari would call itpressly.so● availablename it yourself →Pets.com
† shut down 2000online pet-supply storejudge:A generic plural noun bolted straight onto its own TLD — a URL where a brand should be, so when the .com went dark there was nothing left to say.
Vocari would call itnuzzle.so● availablename it yourself →Vine
† shut down 2017six-second looping video appjudge:A single common noun nobody can own in search — it evokes fast, tangled growth and, just as readily, the thing that withers on the trellis the moment no one waters it.
Vocari would call itloopa.tv● availablename it yourself →Webvan
† flamed out 2001online grocery deliveryjudge:Welds the most disposable prefix of the dot-com era onto a delivery “van” — a name that timestamps itself to 1999 and marries a futuristic promise to the least glamorous vehicle on the road.
Vocari would call itlarder.so● availablename it yourself →Boo.com
† collapsed 2000online luxury fashion retailerjudge:A luxury fashion label named after the noise a crowd makes when it wants you off the stage — two-thirds vowel and one hundred percent jeer.
Vocari would call itaurel.so● availablename it yourself →Jawbone
† liquidated 2017fitness trackers & Bluetooth speakersjudge:Names a fitness wearable after a skull bone — it conjures a skeleton or a caveman’s club long before it suggests a single step, and that morbid anatomy had to stretch across earpieces, speakers, and wristbands alike.
Vocari would call itstrida.fit● availablename it yourself →Yik Yak
† shut down 2017anonymous, location-based message boardjudge:A reduplicated onomatopoeia for idle chatter — the name literally evokes “meaningless noise,” and doubling the syllable only doubles the promise of nothing worth reading.
Vocari would call itvicina.app● availablename it yourself →Rdio
† shut down 2015on-demand music streaming, a Spotify rivaljudge:“Radio” with the vowels surgically removed, leaving a word no one can pronounce on sight — fatal for a music service you’re supposed to recommend out loud.
Vocari would call itaudra.so● availablename it yourself →Quirky
† bankrupt 2015crowdsourced invention platformjudge:An adjective meaning “oddly unreliable,” so the brand promised eccentric products of uncertain quality right on the tin — a rare name that delivered exactly, and only, what it warned you about.
Vocari would call itinventa.so● availablename it yourself →
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